This will be the first of four posts, live-blogging a review of episode 5.
This week’s show picks up right where episode 4 left off. The opening scene is one of the funniest parts of the whole episode, and is hilariously quote-worthy, thanks to Hannah’s tactlessness. Charlie makes Hannah read her diary entry aloud for Marnie to hear, which starts a whole new slew of arguments back and forth between the two lovers. Like usual, Hannah is incredibly self-absorbed during all this. In the midst of their fight, she makes it all about her and interjects, “Ok, I don’t want to split hairs here but it’s actually a journal not a notebook; it’s notes a notebook, like notes for a book…I’m just saying journal implies like a thirteen year old girl who rides horses and is obsessed with her mom, and that’s not what I’m doing.” Marnie responds with a terrifying glare and Charlie loses it, leaving the apartment. Now left alone with Marnie, Hannah callously pauses a few seconds and asks, “Hey Marnie, if you had read the essay and it wasn’t about you, do you think you would have liked it? Just as a piece of writing?” Marnie does not even dignify Hannah with a response and slams the door to her room.
The next morning, Marnie seems to have cooled down a bit and the two girls are having breakfast together. Marnie resolves to win Charlie back, which Hannah scoffs at and reminds her that she didn’t seem very happy when she was with him. Marnie quips back at Hannah that she just doesn’t understand because nobody has ever loved her that much. Realizing an awkward pause and that she may have been a little too harsh, Marnie quickly adds, “…as much as me, I love you. And your dad. And your boss.” Hannah thinks about it for a second, and responds, “I hate everyone that loves me.” Though this seems like an impervious response, it is telling of Hannah’s worldview and lack of self-esteem. She doesn’t even love herself, in fact she hates herself, and therefore hates anyone who feels differently—a possible explanation of why she repeatedly takes emotional abuse from Adam and never stands up for herself at work.